Word Shortage Threatens English Language
. News Item. The Federal Agency in Charge of Word Usage (FAICOWU) has enacted new regulations designed to ease the shortage of words. As the FAICOWU issued its orders, it noted that while the English Language contains more than a gazillion words, it is running out of new words to use. The reason for this is that, as new technology has grown exponentially in the past few years, it has employed thousands of new words to describe its inventions and discoveries. Eventually, if this explosion of new words is not limited, the English language will soon have used up all the available words, and there will be no more. Progress will stop. Therefore, no one will be allowed to use up any of the increasingly scarce word resources without permission of the FAICOWU. There will be an approval process to ensure fairness, and severe penalties for violators. The final authority for these regulations will, of course, be the Queen of England, for...