Robert Arvay's Humor Blog

The time-travelers convention will be held yesterday at a place to be announced.   A good time will be had by all. The tenth annual procrastinators meeting will be held in the usual place—which is nowhere, since none of you ever shows up.   If you do, it will actually be the first annual meeting. The liar’s convention will be held at the Grand Canyon, if you can believe that. The meeting of hopelessly confused people, will convene tomorrow at 8 AM to schedule a meeting to decide when and where to hold tomorrow’s 8 AM meeting. The fortune-tellers meeting will be held at the time and place you already predicted. The pessimist meeting will probably not be held.   What would be the point?   Nothing good will come of it. The mind-readers meeting . . . . The gate-crashers meeting will be held next week.   None of you are invited. The hurry-up meeting has already been held.   You missed it. The tardy-people meeting will be hel...

Now that I have returned from Washington DC, I am at liberty to reveal my activities of the past week. I had the enormous honor of having been invited to a White House banquet. Imagine my excitement as I entered the banquet hall, wearing the official White House white shirt, black bow tie and waistcoat.  I thought it looked unstylish, but quite a few of the men were wearing the same thing, so I did not feel out of place.  Although I did find the apron a bit mysterious. Just as I took my seat at my rightful place at the head of the banquet table, next to the Vice President, a security agent came rushing up and told me I was urgently needed in the kitchen. Honored to be called upon in this emergency, I was escorted to the kitchen, only to find that matters were already well in hand. While there, I was offered a tray by a (mere) servant, and I proceeded with it toward my rightful place of honor at the banquet table.  Unfortunately, my seat had already be...