Advertisement for Philosophers

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Hey there.  Are you a Philosopher?  Have you been having trouble thinking great thoughts lately?  Do you find yourself thinking, gosh, all the other great philosophers are thinking great thoughts, and here I am thinking about how to do the laundry and stuff?  Have you ever wished that there were some kind of pill you could take?  Well, now there is.  This amazing new product is called, Flossofizer.  Yep.  You just take one pill ever morning, and the next thing you know, you’ll be thinking them there great thoughts jus like all the other flossofers are.  No more will you have to face the embarrassment of having other flossofers askin you ifn you dun thought any great thoughts lately.  No more will you have to make lame excuses like, yeh, I really thought some great thoughts about laundry.  And them all laffin atcha an sayin, laundry?  Laundry?  You call that thinking them there great thoughts?  Wutsa matter wijja boy?  Cane chew think up no really great thoughts?  Wut kinda thought thinker are you, ennyway?  Nope.  Now you jus take wunna them thar Flossofizer pills, and by gummit, you’ll be rite up there with the rest ovvem, thinking great thoughts one after anuther.  Then when they ask you ifn you dun thought up inny grate thoughts, yule be abull to say, yep, I thotta plenty of  em.  How bout you?  Oh yeah, same here, really great ones.  Well.  Gotta go now.  There’s a lot more uv thim thar grate thots wut need to be thunk up.  See ya.

Flossofizer. The pill yuzed by grate thought thinkers everwar.  Git sum twoday.

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